One of my favorite books that I have read since being in Louisville is The Message of the Old Testament by Mark Dever. I seriously have a hard time putting it down every time I read it. I am always encouraged and spurred on. Tonight I was reading and I felt as though he was speaking directly to what I have experienced in the past and what even the people around me have experienced. On the Chapter concerning Ezekiel he writes
"Maybe there was a time when you felt especially close to God... But now you are troubled, uncertain, afraid you have lost the ability to be near Him because the circumstances have changed. Well just as God showed Ezekiel and his Old Testament people, he shows that he is not limited by circumstances... He is the God of this Universe."
I have experienced these very feelings. Sometimes it even changes from week to week. there are some days were I feel so close to God and there are others where I have no desire to pray, read, or even worship. I know that during those times satan will take that and create doubts within me. This spiritual battle even effects me physically. When I go through these dry seasons I become slothful and am filled with a negative outlook on all things. My attitude even suffers. But I have a great hope because of the very next thing that Dever says.
In the next paragraph Dever reminds us that "This God takes the initiative. He comes to us." Yes! God's love is not dependent upon me. When I did not desire him he came after me, and that is true even for today. The seasons of life when I do not desire God he still pursues me. What a great promise to remember.
Also, I must remember the words of my pastor Kevin Jamison from Sojourn. A few weeks ago he talked about a similar season and he encouraged us not to sit in our despair, but to stand up and fight. when I do not desire God I must not turn on the TV and hope that one day I will feel better. I must fight through these seasons.
Today I am going to meditate upon Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
